obvious.

Firstly, pardon my English.

it's ten o'clock, and my coffee's gone cold, then i'm still wondering why?
why it happened?
when i'm trying to learn, about somehow, i want to understand the conditions and situations like this.
faces so many complicated things, crying, broken, and empty.
like an empty jar, and filled with hundred loves.
i have no doubt at it.
world gone wild.
on the other place, we could sharing and caring each other.
there's no other words could describe it at all.
i was in love, dude.
i was deeply in love and just like an abnormal person.
i'm laughing at myself sometimes.
smile, like a child, playing merry go round and happy everytime.
laughing out loud, i do it like a lot.
i know, from the very first i met him, i cannot go on.
i can't fix anything.
wishes, hopes, slowly fade away from my mind.
remind our memories without give any chance, to change that.
i have always capturing his face and framing every seconds to keep him on my mind.
i'd just can't go away and throw all these.
you know, when i met him,somewhere, there's no hopes for me to get him into me.
he's different with me.
sometimes, i said to myself that, "Stop it, hey, wake up, no chance!!"
but, this felling just too deep and wild.
i wanna runaway when i saw his face.
shame on me, hahaha.

i want to scream everyday, "God, why'd you give me this so complicated time?"

i cannot handle myself.
but, once again, it's not about God, it's about me and myself.
God has do nothing for this.
what should i'd do then?
like submarine's, it drown inside deeper when its sailing.
just like my love, drowned inside everyday deeper than ever.
it's so hard to be like this,oh man!
it's obvious now,
clearly,
and nothing more,
he truly do care for me as a sister,
nothing more.
i cannot denied all these sadness and madness.
when someone, you really care about and love, isn't gave anything back to you, what would you do?
believe me, i want to shoot myself,hahaha.

i mean, when you love people, then they just loving you as a brother, sister or friend, do not give up and leave them.

but, trying to be the very first person on this earth who always stand up beside them and help them anytime.



you know what will happen then, we win.
we are the winner.
because,no matter what, love is the only way to survive our life from painful and darkness, madness.